The Korean Love Letter

This post is strange. It is as strange as the girl who inspired it. Two years ago, I befriended this slim girl. Her name was Eunice. She was really slim. [OK, I always go for slim ladies. I am a slim lover.] But Eunice was really slim.  Too slim to be loved [What part of 'too slim' would you love. It is just too slim]. I feared her. But I didn't leave her for the petite body. No, I do not discriminate people for their bodily disadvantages.

It was her strange behaviour. She told me that I should write her love letters. I did this reluctantly. She won. She then went on and extended her good luck, telling me to write my mother and myself love letters. My mother? OK, that's not too bad. But wait. I write myself a love letter? That's preposterous. It is like telling me to kiss myself or engage in amorous activities like touching my nether areas. I declined and she brushed me off. 'To hell with her,' I consoled myself sobbingly.

A few days ago however, I listened to a great speaker, Dr Ivan Joseph, at TED Talks. He said that everybody goes through a low esteem moment in their lives. At such times, you need to remind yourself that you are the best. You could do this by reminding yourself of milestones that you have reached. 

I am going through such a low moment. I am doubting my craft, my talent.  So here is an article that I wrote for  Koreans back at the varsity. It got good critical acclaim and was announced as one of the best.

This article is not about you. It is about me. Anytime I read it, I will feel good  and will be able to work my ass out.  Eunice, you finally won. 

 PS: It is raw and unedited.

Here it goes:

Love Soo much

Many aspects about Korea baffle me. I do not know whether they baffle you but methinks as a fellow African, they should. These guys, as far as gaining independence is concerned, are almost Kenya’s age mate. They became liberated in 1945 while Kenya came shortly later on in 1963- merely eighteen years difference. Despite gaining independence at almost the same time, the Korean story never ceases to fascinate. It is so spell-binding. It is only in 1963 when Korea’s national GDP was at par with Kenya’s. But wait! Their economy today is soaring up high while we are still struggling with tons and tons of debts gagging our necks. If you are not baffled by such facts, I do not think you will ever be baffled by anything. That is no curse.

My baffling is the curious type that requires answers. Could Koreans in the house kindly raise their hands? Good, tell us please- what did you do to become this rich? Kindly teach us the tactics of how a country can be transformed from a wasteland to an economic powerhouse in such a short duration of less than fifty years. Could you be louder please- the entire African continent wants to hear those sweet healing words.

Thinking about how Korea would be of benefit to Africa, so many things come into my mind. In fact, you would be tempted to call them ‘too many things’. To begin with, I think about her remarkable economic prowess. Truth be told, she is richer than the word rich- no flattery intended. In a few years’ time, she might become a superpower; a citadel of richness and indeed a force to reckon with. If Korea were a lady, she would be a huge and well-endowed woman; well-built with economic curves that many a men would admiringly ogle at. Her twin set of lips would be the most enviable thing that men would wish to get near. Reason, she is fastidious in her business dealings and is led by the key tenets of love for work and professionalism--values that any business or entrepreneurial student would wish to learn in a Korean studies course.

Brother Africa, don’t you think it would be lovely to woo this resplendent lady? Would it not be beneficial to have her as your confidant? In her, you would find a resourceful lady who would teach you the secrets to prosperity. She would thoroughly tutor you on how to throw the winning card in every business game. In short, Korean studies would be suitable for all students taking an economics course in a tertiary institution. This way, they would learn (from the experts) how to make Africa’s economy blossom.

Look at South Korea, don’t you admire the way she is peaceful? She loves serenity with a passion and would do anything for world peace even if it meant making generous contributions or being involved in lengthy peace talks. Of course you and I know only too well that she is capable of arming herself lest the worst happens but look--she is not eager to do that. She would rather spend sleepless nights sweet talking her twin sister North Korea, to disarm and stop being violent. Isn’t that lovingly strange? It is when one recalls the 1950s when the Korean peninsula was torn apart by war that saw her economy go into a depression and many families disintegrate. But trust South Korea not to harbor old grudges. It is as though she lives by the African adage that a conflict with a kinsman should not dig deep into the marrow-it ought to be only superficial; on the flesh. To impart the virtues of peace, Korean studies should be geared on teaching African students on conflict resolution and world peace.

I love fanciful gadgets that simplify life and make one classy because of their elegance. I am talking about smartphones, electric kettles and microwaves. I particularly love the latter. With a microwave, I can safely warm food without the fear of setting my house ablaze. This saves me the pain of looking for three stones to make an African hearth especially here in Nairobi. Shopping for these gadgets should however be done with extra caution.

At one time, my friend bought a Smartphone from a cell phone store. Until now, he lives in regret as to why he bought that brand of phone enlisting a litany of complaints every time we bump into each other. He says that the phone is inefficient, slow and too brittle. His misfortunate incident made me adopt a cardinal rule; I would not just buy any gadget, but the best. Talking of the best, I have proved that no phone is better than a Samsung, no brand of kettle or microwave is better than an LG. Coincidentally, these products happen to be made by one country-Korea. I wish Koreans would teach us the secrets to making similar products of high quality. Maybe they should include courses on teaching manufacturing students how to design Samsung, LG and Hyundai products.

Today, when am told to speak about Korea, there is one thing I cannot fail to point out-their last year’s general election. What a general election they had! Africa, did you just see the meticulousness with which Korea conducted her elections? Did you not admire the political maturity, the peaceful campaigns and the well-organized voting?

Personally, I was moved. How I wish Africa would borrow a leaf from them. Truth be told, their elections were exemplary with peace reigning supreme before and after the exercise. What’s more, they elected a woman. Yes, a woman president, Ms. Park Geun- hye. That in itself is inimitable democratic maturity. It portrays Koreans as people who regard women as equally important as men. I just hope brother Africa learnt something from those elections. If he didn’t, Korean studies should capture bits of political science that could go a long way in fixing the punctures in Africa’s political tubing.

African elections are marked by tension, propaganda and ugly mayhem in their aftermath. Disputes are commonplace with the embittered runners-up failing to contend defeat. They are ever cynical about the electoral bodies that oversaw the elections yet they approved the very same boards before the exercise. Among other things, they will cite rigging as the chief reason they failed to clinch the win. At times, one wonders whether all electoral bodies in Africa are faulty or is it the losers who are never content.

Indeed, defeat in the African politics is such a bitter pill to swallow. Politicians would rather share it by inciting people to fight each other rather than guzzle the entire bile bottle alone. Methinks they are very ‘generous’-somebody clap for them.

How would Korean studies improve the election crisis in Africa, you ask. Learning a people’s way of life is best done by studying what they study. This way, you quickly get assimilated into their lifestyle; you could then effortlessly ape what they do. Africans say that once a child washes his hands, he is fit to dine with kings. Africans need to wash their hands by learning the Korean studies. This way, we will be able to conduct elections in a peaceful way as does the Koreans.

According to me, Africans are emaciated; too thin. We are so light in weight that a little gust of wind may blow us away unless we stack stones into our pockets. Luckily, this gust of wind is rare in coming. When it does come however, we are left at its mercy. It could make us do anything from dancing involuntary jigs to mercilessly knocking our heads together. Plump people, do not glare at me that way; I am not saying that you are thin in the literal sense. My language is figurative.

Our emaciation is as a result of the tribalism malady that has for long been eating deep into our flesh. It has suck our blood streams dry leaving us as mere bags of bones. Today, no African would be lucky enough to have been spared by this epidemic. Just like HIV/AIDS, it has either infected or affected all. We have felt its painful fangs dig into our flesh or that of our relatives’. These fangs range from tribal civil wars, discrimination at workplaces and being back-bitten in a foreign language among other viles.

Korea is a little bit different. I am alive to the fact that it is no haven but it is better off. They have one language- Korean; no more no less-maybe some different dialects here and there but the same language. This has made the country stronger and more cohesive. She prides in having a closely-knit society. Would Africa not delight in that? Of course, he would be elated and should therefore strive to learn the Korean studies so that he may apply their philosophies in trying to lessen the effects of the tribalism malady.

In the booklet ‘The Trouble with Nigeria,’ world renowned writer Chinua Achebe likens talks about African corruption to small talks by white men talking about their weather. The danger with such similarity is that, climate is here to stay; we can do nothing about it, we just have to live with or under it. Corruption is a completely different aspect of life. It is something that we can exterminate before it gets our necks first. We resign to it at our own peril.

Koreans are no saint as far as corruption is concerned. Theirs however is not as shouting as Africa’s. A story is told of two political science students; an African and an Asian who finished learning in an American university and went to apply their studies in their home countries. After five years, the African visited the Asian. He was amazed at seeing a sleek, brand-new Mercedes Benz parked outside the Asian’s house. Asking him how he got this vehicle that quickly, the Asian replied, “You see that tarmac road up there, 10% of its funding bought the vehicle.”

The African leader went home. After a few months, the Asian visited him. His mouth flung wide open on seeing a fleet of brand new Mercedes Benz parked outside the African’s house. Driven by curiosity, he asked where he got all those vehicles from. The African man smiled and replied, “You see that bush up there. The fleet of vehicles was bought with 100% of funds that ought to have made a tarmac road.” This story though fictional, emphasizes the point that though Africans and Asians are corrupt, Africans have gone too far. They are too corrupt. It would therefore be prudent if Korean studies were taught to students undertaking leadership and community development courses as they would learn to put the people’s interests first before their own.

I love the tact that Koreans treat other people with. Have you noticed the way they greet other people- with a bow laden with lots of respect and humility? I just hope that the Korean studies will impart such morals to African students pursuing courses in diplomacy and international relations.

As a Nairobi university student, I find it rather ironical that the university produces engineering students every year yet has its construction jobs done by foreigners. That is ironically strange, isn’t it? It means that the education system we use is wanting. It does not prepare technical students for the practicalities of their course. Employers have to undergo a financial burden training their new employers. It is my sincere hope and prayer that the Korean studies in Africa would not only be focused on teaching the Korean language but also on covering technical courses. We would surely love African engineers to be as good as their Korean counterparts, wouldn’t we?

In conclusion, Korean studies are applicable in all spheres of university studies. They could help any student.